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Maybe you cheer<\/em> from the sidelines, letting your child know how much you support them. Perhaps you coach<\/em> from the sidelines, shouting things like \u201cTake it up the outside!\u201d or \u201cWhy\u2019d you stop?!\u201d Or maybe you drop off your child and run errands. As parents, we want to \u201cget it right\u201d as often as possible, but like with many things in parenting, there\u2019s no real rule book. That\u2019s why we asked long-time coaching couple Lew and Ruth Ann West for some advice. They share how to encourage your kids at soccer games, how to support the coaches, and what behaviors they never want to see again!\u00a0<\/p>\n
The Wests know whereof they speak: They\u2019ve been on both sides of the field \u2014 as both coaches and soccer parents. For the past 15 years, they\u2019ve coached co-ed recreational soccer teams ranging in age from 4 to 16. And two of their daughters are soccer players: Their middle child was skilled enough to receive college scholarship offers. And their petite, dimpled 11-year-old daughter tears up the field like a beast as part of the Wests\u2019 current team. To be sure, these coach\/parents have carefully considered what they think works best, one look at their team records over the years supports their theories.<\/p>\n
Ready for a little coaching of your own? Take a deep breath, and read on to see if it might be time to rethink a few of the things you\u2019re doing at your child\u2019s practices and games.<\/p>\n
Find a list of soccer classes, clinics & camps near you >><\/a><\/h4>\n\u00a0<\/h4>\n1. Sometimes it\u2019s Good to Stick Your Nose (or Foot) in<\/h3>\n
It\u2019s hard for parents to know how involved to be with their kids. If you sit and watch every practice, you might be helicoptering, but if you leave you might be abandoning them. \u201cWe like to have parents there,\u201d says Ruth Ann, \u201cbecause when the parents stay, they have opportunities to engage with the kids during practice.\u201d For instance, when the team is one person short, a parent can sub in during a two-person drill or participate in a scrimmage as a player or referee.<\/p>\n
Lew also likes the parents to see all of the effort the players put into practice time. \u201cKids these days work incredibly hard at the things they care about,\u201d he says, \u201cand I like for parents to see that.\u201d<\/p>\n
2. Yell All You Want \u2026 But You\u2019re Not the Coach<\/h3>\n
\u201cWe love when the parents are positive and cheer from the sidelines,\u201d Ruth Ann says. Her coaching style reflects that enthusiasm \u2014 she\u2019s loud and laughs a lot, and every shout is a yell of of encouragement.\u00a0\u201cDefinitely,\u201d agrees Lew. \u201cBut there\u2019s a difference between yelling encouragement and coaching from the stands. Sometimes parents contradict what the coaches are telling the players.\u201d Other types of parent participation the Wests could do without: Criticizing the ref, yelling negatives (\u201cWho were you passing to!?\u201d), and working themselves up over a bad call. In general, if you feel your blood starting to boil, it\u2019s probably time to take a lap \u2014 or a deep breath.<\/p>\n
![\"Parents](\"https:\/\/ahblog.activityhero.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/parents-on-the-sidelines.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n3. The Kids Can\u2019t Hear You Anyway \u2026<\/h3>\n
Just ask your child, if you don\u2019t believe it: The reality is that most of the time, those players can\u2019t hear you \u2014 no matter what you shout. They are running fast, breathing hard, and battling over an ever-moving orb. The last thing they have time for is to stop and listen to parental advice.<\/p>\n
4. But the Other Adults Sure Can!<\/h3>\n
\u201cThe worst part about rude or aggressive shouting is that it ruins the game for the other families,\u201d Ruth Ann cautions. \u201cYour child probably doesn\u2019t know what you said, but the parents you have to sit near at next week\u2019s game certainly do.\u201d Also keep this in mind: Some of those parents may be recording the game on video (and audio) \u2014 including your shouts and conversations. Make sure what you say is worthy of being preserved for posterity. This is a kids soccer game, after all.<\/p>\n
5. A Good Soccer Coach Isn’t Necessarily Out to Win<\/h3>\n
As soccer parents, the Wests have dealt with their share of other coaches, which has helped inform their approach today. \u201cA good coach takes a group of kids and helps them become a team,\u201d Ruth Ann says. They do this, she explains, by helping children create a work ethic that includes hard work and team building, and at the same time, they make the experience fun.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe difference between a good coach and a bad one is the focus that coach has,\u201d Lew adds. \u201cBy focus, I mean, is their only goal to win, or to teach the love of the game and teamwork?\u201d At heart, we all know that developing young minds is more important than winning. It\u2019s a wonderful fringe benefit of being involved in a team sport.<\/p>\n
6. How Do Your Kids Soccer Games Measure Up?<\/h3>\n
Whether you\u2019re interested in getting your child started in soccer \u2014 or just finding a team that\u2019s a better fit \u2014 ActivityHero can help. If you don\u2019t love your coach\u2019s style or the emotions it brings out in you and your child, don\u2019t be afraid to take a look at what else is out there. And if your child is looking for a great team sport to try, there\u2019s no time like the present.<\/p>\n
Find a list of Soccer Classes, Clinics & Camps near you >><\/a><\/h4>\n\n\n
1. Sometimes it\u2019s Good to Stick Your Nose (or Foot) in<\/h3>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n3. The Kids Can\u2019t Hear You Anyway \u2026<\/h3>\n
Just ask your child, if you don\u2019t believe it: The reality is that most of the time, those players can\u2019t hear you \u2014 no matter what you shout. They are running fast, breathing hard, and battling over an ever-moving orb. The last thing they have time for is to stop and listen to parental advice.<\/p>\n
4. But the Other Adults Sure Can!<\/h3>\n
\u201cThe worst part about rude or aggressive shouting is that it ruins the game for the other families,\u201d Ruth Ann cautions. \u201cYour child probably doesn\u2019t know what you said, but the parents you have to sit near at next week\u2019s game certainly do.\u201d Also keep this in mind: Some of those parents may be recording the game on video (and audio) \u2014 including your shouts and conversations. Make sure what you say is worthy of being preserved for posterity. This is a kids soccer game, after all.<\/p>\n
5. A Good Soccer Coach Isn’t Necessarily Out to Win<\/h3>\n
As soccer parents, the Wests have dealt with their share of other coaches, which has helped inform their approach today. \u201cA good coach takes a group of kids and helps them become a team,\u201d Ruth Ann says. They do this, she explains, by helping children create a work ethic that includes hard work and team building, and at the same time, they make the experience fun.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe difference between a good coach and a bad one is the focus that coach has,\u201d Lew adds. \u201cBy focus, I mean, is their only goal to win, or to teach the love of the game and teamwork?\u201d At heart, we all know that developing young minds is more important than winning. It\u2019s a wonderful fringe benefit of being involved in a team sport.<\/p>\n
6. How Do Your Kids Soccer Games Measure Up?<\/h3>\n
Whether you\u2019re interested in getting your child started in soccer \u2014 or just finding a team that\u2019s a better fit \u2014 ActivityHero can help. If you don\u2019t love your coach\u2019s style or the emotions it brings out in you and your child, don\u2019t be afraid to take a look at what else is out there. And if your child is looking for a great team sport to try, there\u2019s no time like the present.<\/p>\n